It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you are not. – Denis Waitley
Have you ever felt like you don’t belong? Or that no matter what you do, you can’t get it right or that you don’t measure up? I have. I always try to do well but I don’t perceive my own achievements in the same light as others may see it. It affects so many areas of my life, including embroidery. I see so many beautiful embroidery pieces that others make and sometimes I feel as if I’m not on the same level. For a long time, I couldn’t find the words to classify what I was feeling because it wasn’t just self-doubt. Then I heard about imposter syndrome and everything fell into place. I finally have a name for it and it helps me not feel so alone knowing that others experience the same thing.
What is Imposter Syndrome Anyway?
Imposter syndrome is defined as the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills. The most common characteristics are self- doubt, undervaluing contributions, attributing success to external factors, sabotaging self-success, setting unrealistic expectations, continuous fear of not living up to expectations, and burnout. I personally have experienced all of these, especially sabotaging my self-success and continuous fear of not living up to expectations.
Seven Types of Imposter Syndrome
Surprisingly, there are 7 types of Imposter Syndrome. There is the perfectionist (this person has to make sure that everything is perfect but they are never satisfied), the superhero (this person takes on a lot of work and they want it to seem that they can handle everything), the natural genius (this person thrives on being quick and efficient and they have a fear of failure), the soloist (they like doing everything by themselves and don’t ask for help), the expert (before doing something new, they have to have all the knowledge and experience), the noticer (nothing is every perfect and they are never proud of themselves), and the discounter ( this person doesn’t trust others’ opinions of them and are scared of not being good enough). If you want to find out which type you are, there’s a quiz at this link- https://www.betterup.com/blog/what-is-imposter-syndrome-and-how-to-avoid-it#:~:text=Imposter%20syndrome%20is%20the%20condition,phony%22%20and%20doubting%20their%20abilities.
I’m definitely more than one type. I’m the Soloist, the Noticer, and the Discounter. It’s really hard for me to ask for help. It’s not because of pride. I just don’t want anyone to see any mistakes that I’m making. I guess I’m afraid of being judged. It’s also very hard to accept compliments and if someone does give me one I just think that they’re trying to be nice.
Ways That I Can Help Myself
It’s very hard to get over this problem. This may be something that you never can get rid of, but rather find ways to help calm the feelings that you’re having. I find that talking about it helps and realizing that I’m not alone. I also have been saying positive affirmations in the morning and that really helps to set my day off in the right direction. It puts you in a more positive mindset. Another thing I need to learn is that there’s nothing wrong with asking for help sometimes. No one will think less of me.
Another big problem that I have is comparing myself to others. Everyone is unique and everybody has talent, including me. Overall, I think being kind to myself will go a long way in healing and reaching my maximum potential. I hope that you all are kind to yourselves also. Hopefully, you can take something from this article and maybe learn something from it or relate in some way to how I’m feeling. Happy Sunday everyone!